


Our Secret Recipe

by sugardabbler



Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Blood, Character Death, Dark Comedy, M/M, inspired a bit by dark au versions of joxter and muddler, not heavily shippy but... there still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-18 20:47:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20319268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugardabbler/pseuds/sugardabbler
Summary: The Oshun Oxtra gang go on a camping trip, but Moomin's stories kill the mood. Will Joxter and Muddler ever get to enjoy their vacation?





	Our Secret Recipe

Joxter and the Muddler weren't sure how they got roped into this.

Moomin's proposal of a week-long camping expedition _had_ sounded appealing, with his sensational plans of midnight swims, fresh mountain air, and fireside coffee to sip while the gang traded secrets. Muddler immediately jumped at the idea, even if only for the opportunity to hunt for stones and leaves. And with only a bit of coaxing from him, Joxter agreed some time away from sea would do them all well. Perhaps even - they both thought, blushing at the idea - they could share something a little more special than a cup of coffee, without the disapproving eyes of the Muddler's uncle staring them down.

But once the last tent spike had been hammered down, the moment Moomin lit his sorry excuse for a campfire, it was clear his stories were to take priority over the promised conversation and adventure.

He sat down on a log, legs spread apart in a dramatic pose, and leaning forward with an almost wild expression on his face. "And there I was, Niblings in every direction..."

"We were there, Moomin," Joxter hissed from across the fire.

Moomin pulled back in surprise from this rare outburst. Even Muddler, who had by this time slouched over from boredom, now showed some interest.

"Er, yes..." he sputtered, at a loss for words for the first glorious moment in his life. He quietly stared for a minute, no doubt trying to look pensive until finally asking, "Did I ever tell you about the night I left that dreadful orphanage?"

Maybe it was the irritation of hearing Moomin's same sob story drilled into his brain time and time again, finally driving him to madness. Or it was the Muddler's disappointed face that awakened some primal rage within him. Regardless, Joxter vowed in that very second he would see to it that his friend would have the unforgettable trip he deserved.

A flurry of flashing teeth and claws, he was on that troll's throat quicker than one could say "Oh, cruel fate". Blood gushed in every direction, splashing the countryside in a macabre parody of a paintball game. Moomin's screams rattled the trees and echoed above the hills. But Joxter held fast. Soon the cries for mercy subsided into gurgles, that were then drowned out by the comforting chirp of crickets.

At last, silence was theirs to savour.

* * *

"Hello! Would you like to sit by our fire?"

Two figures, wrapped snugly in a blanket next to a roaring bonfire, give you a warm smile. The more enthusiastic one of the pair waves you down, pointing to a log across from them.

It seems like ages since you last met such a kind face after several lonely days crossing these seemingly unending woods. You take the seat, grateful for a warm place to sleep, and repeatedly thank them for their generosity. But, embarrassingly, your stomach begins to roar.

"Oh, you must be starving! 'scuse me!" The first one, who you now can see resembles a dog dressed in cookware, scrambles up to grab a bowl of marshmallows which he eagerly pushes into your lap.

"Made 'em ourselves," the man-like cat next to him says, tipping his hat and giving you a knowing wink.

You look down at your dinner, giving one of the confections a gentle poke. They certainly seem fresh, yet... they are unusually pungent for a dessert. And fuzzier than any marshmallow has a right to be. "What are these made of?" you ask.

"It's our secret recipe," he responds, prompting his friend to giggle hysterically. The cat quietly shushes him, and they nuzzle noses before turning to await your reaction, faces lit up in anticipation.

Will you try one?

**Author's Note:**

> maybe someday ill write a moomin fic where no one gets eaten  
maybe... someday... it just keeps happening to me
> 
> normally i dont hc fred as the disapproving sort, this story just calls for it i guess...


End file.
